Why I Wrote, Making Ends Meet - Part 1

The short answer… a lot of reasons., but the most important reason, God wanted me to! Now, to be perfectly clear, I’m not claiming any kind of divine inspiration in my writing; that’s reserved exclusively for the Bible. So, what do I mean when I say that God called me to start writing? It means that I was lost. I was depressed, miserably anxious and all caught up in what I thought everyone else wanted me to do. The state of the world wore on me; battered by the sea of fears. On top of it, few people knew how I really felt because I hid my inner self from the world. Only after opening my heart to Jesus I began to see how the pieces of life truly fit together. He gave me exactly what I was missing: love, purpose, hope and joy. Instead of focusing on making money, power and positions, or fluffing my reputation, my attention shifted…the very things I wanted changed. And with it, so did my career.

I’ve always had a quiet love for the trades. Growing up, I followed contractors around my parents’ house, asking questions and even getting to use a nail gun a time or two! I’ve probably seen every episode of Dirty Jobs and loved my summers working at a local vineyard. So, it was quite fitting when a carpenters’ job landed in my lap. My fiancée made the introduction and I started swinging hammer in 2023. At first, I didn’t think it’d be a permanent change. We had plans to move to Texas to find a job in biotech, but as often the case, God had different plans. The longer I stayed, the more I began to call New Hampshire, home. At the same time, Merry and I started talking about kids and a house for us all. We feel deeply that it’s best for our kids to have their mother as their primary teacher and caregiver. Maybe you can start seeing the conundrum… In this day and age, that dream is hard to attain even for people with much higher paying jobs. I felt conflicted. Was it right for me and my future family to trade in a ‘lucrative’ career in science? Did God really want me to be a carpenter? Or was it a lie I was telling myself because building makes me happy? Was I abandoning a decade of higher education, or was I doing what Jesus wanted me to?

Through time and prayer, he gave me an answer. His answers aren’t frequently a booming voice in the sky…the Holy Spirit speaks in whispers on the wind. I call them whispers not because they are quiet, but because they are easy to miss. When I brought this question to Him, I already had a number of complaints with science and how it’s been conducted in our lifetimes (I’ll going into more detail on this in later blog posts). I didn’t feel suited for the work, nor did it prove to be a good way I personally, could further my relationship with God. In contrast, while being a carpenter, my Faith was revived. I learned lessons about myself and life from construction. I felt like I was at least on the right track. Still questions lingered. I was missing the ‘whispers’. “Ok, You want me to be a carpenter and raise a family with Merry. That I get, but the math isn’t working. A dozen kids is a lot to feed…heck even one is a lot…What more should I do to provide? Do I need to accept the possibility of raising kids in abject poverty? Do I need to sacrifice everything? Am I worrying too much and not trusting in the Lord? Do I need to go back to science to make ends meet in this day and age?”

Jesus tells us to trust in Him. I tried it for a change and He presented me with another idea. He reignited my passion for creative writing. Science fiction has been my favorite genre of media, basically forever, and I had the background to write some cool stuff. He helped me see that I didn’t have to abandon my training or schooling… I was to use it in an unconventional way! Ironically, my favorite fiction author, Michael Crichton, had a similar life arc; leaving medicine before setting off on his literary and film journey. I didn’t (and don’t) think I’ll sell a bunch of copies and ‘make it big’ like he did, but I did begin to see God’s plan in action. My mission became to use my two new careers for Merry and our family to live a humble lifestyle. Earning a couple thousand dollars a year would go along way towards a double wide with a dozen kids. Whether I sell a dozen books or a million, I trust God will provide for what we need.

Now with objective in hand, I stared at an empty Word document and messy notes on printer paper. I had tried to write before. As a kid I liked writing short stories, poems. I even tried starting a horror book about mind controlling bugs crawling in people’s ears. Creative work fell off as my writing ‘energy’ was taken up with scholastic essays and research articles. I tried reviving it myself during grad school, but never made it past the first dozen pages. Making Ends Meet was different. I had God and my fiancée giving me the purpose, and drive. For my first book, I ended up writing three times the length of my PhD thesis (a document that seemed impossible as it was). What’d I do with a hundred and fifty thousand words? Like all authors, I drew inspiration from everything around me. And like many of you, I noticed how popular media has drained the beauty and depth from the art of story. The personal connection with the artist is evaporating, especially with the advent of AI (another future blog post topic). I wanted my writing to be a rejection of this paradigm. After hearing the advice ‘write what you would want to read’ my mission became even more clear. I wasn’t going to write to a specific market. I wouldn’t box myself into a genre, or adapt my writing to a publishers desires. It was going to be an authentic story, from my heart to yours. I self edited my book, partly out of necessity, but also because I wanted it to be my voice telling you the story. I knew it meant my prose wouldn’t be perfect, but I’m not perfect either. With that imperfect story, I wanted it to show the future in everyday clothes. I wanted it to show the inevitable hardships and unfairness of any age. I wanted it to be a story of ‘real’ people…the people you know and meet, the person you see in the mirror. And most of all, I wanted a story of true hope and redemption.

The world teaches us to be anxious, to live in fear. It’s easy to see why. Fear motivates. Fear influences people’s choices. Fear sells… and I’m done buying. I know I’m not alone in how I feel. I’m tired of my pulse racing. Tired of my stomach warping itself into knots. Tired of dismal outlooks from news anchor’ desks and rage inducing social media. I still don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what the world will look like or what challenges humanity will face. I don’t know how many kids I’ll have, or how exactly I’ll provide for them. I do know that we all were created with a purpose. I do know Jesus has changed my heart. I do know that there’s more than this life. I wrote my book because I want YOU to share in the hope I’ve found in Christ. The future is not ours to know, but the eternal love of God is.

Be well, and God bless you!

Matthew Bond